Depressed

This sucks seriously!!
I've been having these feelings of regret and doubt inside me for quite a long time already. I don't know how to handle this. I've been having a lot of insecurities about myself. As far as i want to not compare myself with others, i can't seriously do it! I've been crying fountain of tears everyday without knowing the specific reason. I feel so useless. Whenever i see people doing the things they want to do, i always ask myself "why?" Why can't i be like them? Why can't i stand for what i really want to do? Why can they do those kind of things and why can't i? I've been so emotional about things that shouldn't be taken seriously. Urg.

Sorry guys, but i don't know where can i let this out~ I'm tired of crying :'(

The neativity outpays the positivity! People see me as the "happy-go-lucky" and the "cheerful" person but i'm nothing near to it. The fact that i've been lying to myself a couple of times saying "of course, i love it", "yes" - is this what i really want? Why? Just why?