Depressed

[osjmnkamss]

This sucks seriously!!
I've been having these feelings of regret and doubt inside me for quite a long time already. I don't know how to handle this. I've been having a lot of insecurities about myself. As far as i want to not compare myself with others, i can't seriously do it! I've been crying fountain of tears everyday without knowing the specific reason. I feel so useless. Whenever i see people doing the things they want to do, i always ask myself "why?" Why can't i be like them? Why can't i stand for what i really want to do? Why can they do those kind of things and why can't i? I've been so emotional about things that shouldn't be taken seriously. Urg.

Sorry guys, but i don't know where can i let this out~ I'm tired of crying :'(

The neativity outpays the positivity! People see me as the "happy-go-lucky" and the "cheerful" person but i'm nothing near to it. The fact that i've been lying to myself a couple of times saying "of course, i love it", "yes" - is this what i really want? Why? Just why?

Comments

[gambitsfox.livejournal.com]

First off......have you had your hormones checked? Seriously, it can throw you off completely and you wont know why. Also I've found watching soap operas can make you feel better because they have huge problems that make ours look small. But......if this does not help then maybe you can try doing things different by taking small steps. Feel better about yourself. Believe me when I say......its not easy. I know I'm over weight, wear glasses, am "getting up there"in age, but I thought at least I have my health.......wrong. So now having fought cancer for half a year now.....losing my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, and being so tired I have a different look at life. So I guess what I'm saying if its not something chemical that is causing your problem then you can change whatever is messing you up. Since I don't know what exactly is the problem its really hard giving advice. Just be grateful for what you have or don't have and change what you can. But be happy! Love ya and hope you find your inner self love soon. Take care. : )

[osjmnkamss.livejournal.com]

/hugs/ hang in there! I've been so self-centered about my thoughts~ Sorry. I think accepting and clearing off all of my insecurities isn't an easy way. It'll be a long------ longg---- process. However, with you guys around, I think this process will be much easier. Thank you~ :*

Starting off, i've been always campaigning about cancer awareness. I can say that losing all your hair won't make you a lesser person than others. :) I don't know what you actually feel, but i know that it isn't easy. Just remember that there are a lot of people that loves you and a lot of people prays for your fast recovery. gambatte!

[gambitsfox.livejournal.com]

Your pain is just as real and can be just as disruptive ......if you let it. I think since you posted about it you really are taking good steps in fighting this. Sounds like you even have a game plan on working on it too! Great! The longer the process.....sometimes the better the end results. Good luck my friend.....we are behind you and will be there whenever you need us!
On another note....my hair is growing out and I only have a week more of radiation left! I hope we both find the peace we need. : )
Love ya!