osjmnkamss | Depressed

This sucks seriously!!
I've been having these feelings of regret and doubt inside me for quite a long time already. I don't know how to handle this. I've been having a lot of insecurities about myself. As far as i want to not compare myself with others, i can't seriously do it! I've been crying fountain of tears everyday without knowing the specific reason. I feel so useless. Whenever i see people doing the things they want to do, i always ask myself "why?" Why can't i be like them? Why can't i stand for what i really want to do? Why can they do those kind of things and why can't i? I've been so emotional about things that shouldn't be taken seriously. Urg.

Sorry guys, but i don't know where can i let this out~ I'm tired of crying :'(

The neativity outpays the positivity! People see me as the "happy-go-lucky" and the "cheerful" person but i'm nothing near to it. The fact that i've been lying to myself a couple of times saying "of course, i love it", "yes" - is this what i really want? Why? Just why?

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Dear, I feel you so much. I know it might not be helpful but please know that I can understand your feelings very well. I'm one of those people too who cannot do what they really want. Not completely... it's just too hard, there are so many things to consider and some people just don't have such many things to consider, they have another way of thinking, a less scary way of thinking. I cannot really give you any advice though but I can tell you for sure that it doesn't help to compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself with the person you yourself want to be, that's OK, but don't use other people as standard for yourself. And don't make the hardle too high. I know what I'm talking about. I'm a perfectionist and I'm so so far from the person I myself want to be that often it really hurts and I don't know what to do. But I slowly try to make my goals a bit more realistically and not too high so that I might be able to meet them one day. It's a hard process too, but maybe it helps a little. Other than that I can just say, hang in there and don't let those depressive thoughts crush you. There are bad days, but also good days. Try to make the good days the majority! *big hugs*

/hugs back/ knowing some people who can understand what i feel is enough to make me feel quite better. Thank you~ I'm currently in the process of recovering myself from tremendous circumstances and i think this is one of the reasons why i feel so depressed. However now, I am starting to try to consider more of the brighter side of things rather than the bad. I'm quite an emotional person so still every now and then, whenever i remember those kind of stuffs, i feel so upset. Comparing myself to others truly doesn't help me to feel better-- i feel worse. I'll strive to look more of my good qualities than my bad. Thank you very much~

I can relate to that! I do have some very instable days too once in a while and it just throws me out of my ways in frightening ways. But I always know that there are better days too so all I have to do is to endure it and try to make the best out of my time, doing things that I enjoy etc., that often helps me to feel better already. I hope you're feeling better by now! Take care and enjoy the bright sides of life! <3

First off......have you had your hormones checked? Seriously, it can throw you off completely and you wont know why. Also I've found watching soap operas can make you feel better because they have huge problems that make ours look small. But......if this does not help then maybe you can try doing things different by taking small steps. Feel better about yourself. Believe me when I say......its not easy. I know I'm over weight, wear glasses, am "getting up there"in age, but I thought at least I have my health.......wrong. So now having fought cancer for half a year now.....losing my hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, and being so tired I have a different look at life. So I guess what I'm saying if its not something chemical that is causing your problem then you can change whatever is messing you up. Since I don't know what exactly is the problem its really hard giving advice. Just be grateful for what you have or don't have and change what you can. But be happy! Love ya and hope you find your inner self love soon. Take care. : )

/hugs/ hang in there! I've been so self-centered about my thoughts~ Sorry. I think accepting and clearing off all of my insecurities isn't an easy way. It'll be a long------ longg---- process. However, with you guys around, I think this process will be much easier. Thank you~ :*

Starting off, i've been always campaigning about cancer awareness. I can say that losing all your hair won't make you a lesser person than others. :) I don't know what you actually feel, but i know that it isn't easy. Just remember that there are a lot of people that loves you and a lot of people prays for your fast recovery. gambatte!

Your pain is just as real and can be just as disruptive ......if you let it. I think since you posted about it you really are taking good steps in fighting this. Sounds like you even have a game plan on working on it too! Great! The longer the process.....sometimes the better the end results. Good luck my friend.....we are behind you and will be there whenever you need us!
On another note....my hair is growing out and I only have a week more of radiation left! I hope we both find the peace we need. : )
Love ya!

i think it's totally normal for you to have such thinking, the truth is the things is beyond your controlled but there some chemical stuff in your brain that make you felt like that, so it really is normal.

I passed it too, and I think everyone on earth too, you're not alone dear, that the first thing that you have to remember ^^

and I thought it was more than just ok to let your tears out, i always think better let them out then just put it inside of you, if you don't know the reason then just made the reason by your own, (i usually read sad story or heard sad songs) and the cried your heart out, until you felt you had no more tears left. and let some endorphine get into you (for me it was and always be chocolate) do things that you like and get the happiness fill the empty spot inside of you, and you can reply the thins over and over (i did it, cried in the night, eating chocolate in the day, and cried again in the night for days)

and no you're not useless, did you remember you helped me edited my fic before? I felt really grateful for that <3 if it wasn't for you then the fic will be stored forever in my pc.

my brother always said it is ok to fall down, as long as you remember to get up ^^ #hugs

/hugs back/ i think, in time, I'll be able to do much of what i want to do more. :* Just as what you've said, crying does really help~ :) I was crying my heart out last night and it made me fell into a good night sleep. Sometimes, crying is just the best way to recover from a lot of negative circumstances. :)

"it's ok to fall down,a s long as you remember to get up."
i like this statement so much~ Thanks!

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