Depressed

[osjmnkamss]

This sucks seriously!!
I've been having these feelings of regret and doubt inside me for quite a long time already. I don't know how to handle this. I've been having a lot of insecurities about myself. As far as i want to not compare myself with others, i can't seriously do it! I've been crying fountain of tears everyday without knowing the specific reason. I feel so useless. Whenever i see people doing the things they want to do, i always ask myself "why?" Why can't i be like them? Why can't i stand for what i really want to do? Why can they do those kind of things and why can't i? I've been so emotional about things that shouldn't be taken seriously. Urg.

Sorry guys, but i don't know where can i let this out~ I'm tired of crying :'(

The neativity outpays the positivity! People see me as the "happy-go-lucky" and the "cheerful" person but i'm nothing near to it. The fact that i've been lying to myself a couple of times saying "of course, i love it", "yes" - is this what i really want? Why? Just why?

Comments

[sky-fish7.livejournal.com]

Dear, I feel you so much. I know it might not be helpful but please know that I can understand your feelings very well. I'm one of those people too who cannot do what they really want. Not completely... it's just too hard, there are so many things to consider and some people just don't have such many things to consider, they have another way of thinking, a less scary way of thinking. I cannot really give you any advice though but I can tell you for sure that it doesn't help to compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself with the person you yourself want to be, that's OK, but don't use other people as standard for yourself. And don't make the hardle too high. I know what I'm talking about. I'm a perfectionist and I'm so so far from the person I myself want to be that often it really hurts and I don't know what to do. But I slowly try to make my goals a bit more realistically and not too high so that I might be able to meet them one day. It's a hard process too, but maybe it helps a little. Other than that I can just say, hang in there and don't let those depressive thoughts crush you. There are bad days, but also good days. Try to make the good days the majority! *big hugs*

[osjmnkamss.livejournal.com]

/hugs back/ knowing some people who can understand what i feel is enough to make me feel quite better. Thank you~ I'm currently in the process of recovering myself from tremendous circumstances and i think this is one of the reasons why i feel so depressed. However now, I am starting to try to consider more of the brighter side of things rather than the bad. I'm quite an emotional person so still every now and then, whenever i remember those kind of stuffs, i feel so upset. Comparing myself to others truly doesn't help me to feel better-- i feel worse. I'll strive to look more of my good qualities than my bad. Thank you very much~

[sky-fish7.livejournal.com]

I can relate to that! I do have some very instable days too once in a while and it just throws me out of my ways in frightening ways. But I always know that there are better days too so all I have to do is to endure it and try to make the best out of my time, doing things that I enjoy etc., that often helps me to feel better already. I hope you're feeling better by now! Take care and enjoy the bright sides of life! <3